Have you ever worried if a friend or family member might be suicidal? People often do not know how to deal with the suffering they are feeling have suicidal thoughts. So, if you have never worried about anyone, maybe you should.
Consider that suicide is amongst the top ten causes of death in the United States and a leading cause of death worldwide. The numbers are staggering, 10.9 suicide deaths per 100,000 people. Researchers believe these numbers are underestimated and that it is estimated that for every one suicide, 10-25 attempted suicides occur.
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As life coaching is gaining popularity, so is interest in becoming a life coach. Many people love the idea of working for themselves and being in a profession that helps others. If you are thinking about becoming a life coach, there are several factors you need to consider.
First, decide what type of life coach you want to become. The word “life” covers a lot of territory so life coaches tend to specialize in specific areas. These areas include career and finance, goal setting, relationships, weight loss/fitness and drugs and alcohol, just to name a few.
What is your passion and how do you want to inspire others to create success in their lives? When thinking about what type of life coach you want to be, examine your career, education and life experience to find your current strengths.
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”Go-Go-Go”
Is life coaching another American New Age fad, delivering yet another empty promise of helping us live better lives?
Whether we want to lose weight, get a new job, succeed in business, more education, relationship help, financial relief, smoking, drugs or alcohol cessation, help with depression, overall happiness and countless others, everyone has changes we’d like to see made in our lives.
We are forever setting goals and hoping for changes. New Years is a famous time, but rarely do we find success. Certain seasons and events in our lives push our buttons and we try over and over but rigid patterns of behavior prevent us from making the changes we want.
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Are you ready?
Are you ready to State Out Loud?
Before we begin, here is how this works.
State Out Loud the affirmations 1-10 and then repeat three times
As you are stating them, visualize what you are saying. Really see it. Don’t just say the words, see it and feel it. See yourself, see if you have your partner and feel what you are saying. The more you can connect vision and feeling with the affirmations the more effect they will have.
There are two sets, Single and in a relationship. Enjoy them, and then one at the end for all…
Single
I forgive my past lovers for not being what I wanted them to be.
I forgive myself for my past mistakes in love.
I choose to be at peace with myself.
I love myself unconditionally with all my perfections and imperfections.
I do not judge myself and release the desperate need for love.
I now look in the mirror and say “I love you. I really love you…I Love you, I love you, I Love you”
The more I love myself I naturally attract loving relationships into my life, and make better choices.
I am happy today and know love is there for me to find when the time is right.
I choose to direct only positive and loving thoughts to the world.
As I approach the world from a loving space in my heart I know that love opens new opportunities.
In Relationship
I forgive myself for my past mistakes in this relationship.
I love myself unconditionally with all my perfections and imperfections
I forgive my partner for his/her past mistakes in this relationship.
I forgive my partner for not being everything I wanted him/her to be.
I now accept my partner for who he/she is and love him/her unconditional.
I accept, respect, and enjoy our differences.
I see you clearly and find you exciting and love what I see.
I direct pure, unconditional love towards my partner.
The more I love myself, and the more I love you, I become a magnet for your love and am irresistible.
I am at peace and happy today and I love you.
Now have some fun today and Turn up your own heat #Stateoutloud
“I am as sexy, romantic, charismatic and charming as I choose to be.”
Also it doesn’t hurt to State Out Loud to your partner or to yourself…
I Love You…I Love You…I Love You!
Happy Valentines…
When you’re single you’re always imagining meeting that right person. Come on, admit it, we all have our fantasies. We also incorporate our fantasies into our daily lives and imagine meeting that person who gets our heart racing and our palms sweaty at the places we go. While we’re in the gym we think about it. At work we think about it. While driving we’re thinking about it. We think about it a lot!
Certainly, while we are sitting at our local coffee shop we look up as someone is coming in and wonder and hope. We hope for that coffee house possibility of meeting that right person. Why not, it could happen and it certainly does! After all you’re not the only one thinking about it, we all are. So that person walking in is hoping for the same thing you are.
To give your possibilities more of a chance try going to the same coffee shop and go at the same time. Most people follow routines and by following one yourself you could see the same person regularly. Regularity creates familiarity creating a sense of comfort, which allows two people to ease into conversation. Try not just picking up your coffee to go, sit and enjoy a refill. After all, there are no possibilities while sipping your mocha café latté driving. In fact, take a hot sip while driving and you might have a different possibility, an accident.
When you see that certain someone that causes your heart to have a little arrhythmia, don’t just freeze, at least smile. Take a chance and even say hello. You never know unless you try. If it goes nowhere, don’t worry, the great thing about your coffee house, there is always another person coming in, creating endless coffee house dating possibilities.
So sit and enjoy, what’s your rush? After al,l the coffee is good and that next person walking in could be the one you want to meet who wants to meet you, anything is possible at the coffee house!
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Single during Valentines? Don’t sweat it, you are beautiful and you deserve lots of love. So start by you loving you. Buy yourself a little gift and be nice to you. Rest assured, we will lead you to the best you which will give you tons of new opportunities. So smile, the future is bright and today is yours to love you.
Read today’s Article Inspiration No Bad Dates.
Tomorrow we will have a list of State Out Loud Affirmations to lift your spirit, put a smile on your face and feel good.
(Part 1)
No, we are not discussing getting more sex with multiple partners, we are talking about increasing the pleasure between partners. After listening to countless couples and singles discuss their lives with me, a common theme discussed was the lack of sexual fulfillment. Frustrating sexual lives is a strong indication of the health of a relationship. Couples can choose to ignore it, but it manifests negatively in many ways throughout the relationship and for the individual as well.
A question I ask pretty early in couple therapy is how often a couple is having sex. Right away people tense up, swivel in their seat and look around for the answer. I am very used to this reaction, which only makes the next question and reaction even more interesting. “How is the quality of your sex?” In this case the man might answer quickly saying, “Fine” or “good.” Most often single word answers. He will also look at me as he answers, and then towards his wife. The woman usually doesn’t even answer.
How often a couple is having sex, the quality and the sexual routine they have, tells me a lot about the relationship. Why is that so important? Couples that are frustrated with each other have less sex, and couples who have less sex get more frustrated with each other. It is a vicious cycle that leads to more little fights and poor communication. If not that, it leads to a robotic life where couples are doing their own thing and not dealing with the issue. Either way, it is not a healthy sign.
Also, when people are not sexual satisfied it can have many side effects. You don’t feel attractive and therefore don’t take as good care of yourself. This can lead to weight gain and poor self image. It can effect confidence, careers, health, and more. Although there is never a good excuse, this also leads to affairs. So, if you think the quality of your sexual life in your relationship is not important, you couldn’t be more wrong.
So how do you improve the quality of your sex life? You know the old saying, “If I had a nickle for every time I was asked that question I would be rich?” Well after years on the radio, lectures and private practice, that question has come up countless times. So if you have ever wondered that, you are normal!
Before you can get started, you have to decide that you want to improve the situation. It’s funny, or sad … people think that sex should just happen naturally and therefore should be good. What that means to a person is, “If sex is not good, there is something wrong between us.” Meaning, we are just not in tune with each other, or that we are not compatible. Thinking that good sex should just happen, means that you don’t need to take any responsibility for it, or do you have to look for ways to improve it.
This same thinking is what leads people to just avoid the issue all together and if a couple stays together, sex is what it is, when it is, and they look to find satisfaction in other areas of their life. Unfortunately, this always leaves a big blank space that never leads to a healthy complete feeling as an individual or as a couple.
Once you decide you want to improve it, then you have to stop placing blame either on yourself, or your partner. The goal is not to find out who is doing something wrong, the goal is to see how to learn to be more connected and fulfill each others needs. The great news is, once a couple wants to look at this area of life, improving your sex life is very very possible. However, sex is more than just physical and learning more about each other’s bodies, the quality of your sexual lives will also be affected by the level of communication, intimacy and level you enjoy each other in all areas of your life.
With all that in mind, if you are ready to be open and really take a look at and discuss your sexual lives, you can not only improve your sexual lives, but your lives as a couple in general. That should be exciting, because who doesn’t want to have great sex, and who doesn’t want to have a better relationship? So go ahead and smile, because at this point your mind has all sorts of pictures in it, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone …
This post was a starting place to get you thinking about your sexual life in your relationship. We will be posting more guides and methods to increasing your sexual communication and lives soon. Please also read “Should Women Fake It?” in the Article Inspiration section of Tools To Life.
Leave your comments and questions below and let’s keep the conversation going. After all, that is what got us where we are today, not talking or asking questions …
Valentines Day is approaching fast. You can smell the romance building in the air … or can you? For some, it smells like pressure, “How am I going to celebrate and make the person in my life feel special?’
Lets take some of the pressure off and simplify the concept of romance. Romance is all about making the person in your life feel special. We all like to feel special and paid attention to. It validates who we are when the person in our life puts in effort to cater to our wants and desires. For some that might mean going to a pro wrestling match, to others it is a candle light dinner.
You should know who that person is in your life, and figuring out ways to say, “I love you” should not be that hard. Surprise is always adds to the impact. Do and remember things that they would never expect. Their jaw will drop, heart will pound and you feel great in the process. That’s romance, making someone feel loved and cared for.
If you can add romance to your daily relationship life, all the better, but special occasions bring it into focus and that is where the pressure comes in. So if you are still wondering, “What can I do?” Don’t worry, we have some great tips for you.
Guys, women are really easy. All you have to do is get her those special shoes she has been eying, and you’re done.
Ladies, men are even easier, all you have to do is show up, and the less you wear, the better.
Ha Ha … okay, putting jokes aside, lets take a look at some romantic tips.
Guys this is for your lady…
- Get up early during the weekend and make her favorite breakfast and serve her in bed. Add a flower to the tray and keep her company. Company means listening to her … we’ll get to that in a sec.
- While we are talking about romance, don’t be in such a rush. Maybe you are not the cuddly type, in that case, you cuddling makes it even more special. Stick around under the covers for a few and just hold her, you will be surprised how affectionate she will be after.
- Back to listening, do you know how? Want to increase the intimacy in your relationship? Then learn how to listen. Actually turn off the TV and listen to her day and ask questions. Oh, by the way, listening means listening, don’t be a problem solver, be a sounding board. Again, you will be surprised how the intimacy level meter will rise and rise.
- If you want to take her by storm, go all out, cook her dinner. Set a romantic table, candle light, music, pay attention to her and don’t let her clean … sparks are flying …
- Take that dinner or any occasion to another level, write a toast to her. WOW! She will be surprised and the heart will be beating. Don’t forget to look her in the eyes when you are saying your toast.
- Increasing intimacy and romance is as simple as how you first greet each other. Get up and meet her at the door, give her a hug and a kiss. It’s the little gestures that make all the difference.
- Spa Day! Prepare a rose petaled candle light bubble bath for her with a glass of champagne and then treat her to a massage after.
Ladies this is for your man…
- Men love to feel like “The Man,” pay attention to his stories, smile and laugh and touch him while he is talking.
- Put little candies in his suit pocket with a loving note. Just make sure they are not the melting type and ruin his favorite jacket.
- Notes notes notes, men love getting little surprise notes cheering him on. Even better with your kiss making hm special and wanted.
- Preparing his favorite meal and greeting him at the door with a nice gentle kiss and a cocktail of his liking.
- Place an intimate item of yours, sprayed with a touch of your perfume in a discrete location he will find when away from home, briefcase, car or other. He will come home with a different attitude.
- Buy an outfit to wear for his eyes only …
- Leave a book out on tantric love opened to your favorite page for him to discover.
Of course flowers, chocolates, jewelery and gifts always are sweet. In these economic times that might not be practical. All these tips offered don’t require that you spend tons of money. In fact they don’t even require you go anywhere. What they require is that you spend quality time together. That is what romance is all about, being together and honoring each other, oh yea … and enjoying each other!
Today’s Daily Podcast offers an additional fun tip and look for more tips all week in the Inspiration Article and Podcast sections.
Keep The Faith
Written by Peter for and inspired by Tools To Life
Obstacles become opportunities
Even times that we fall
We all fall for a reason
And then after we stand tall
Have faith that the falls are a part of life
A part of life your quest
And if you keep on fighting
Then you shall pass each test
In order to do the impossible you must see the invisible
SO
Keep the faith, Keep the faith
Accept your dreams as reality
And keep the faith
Faith is reality if we see with our hearts
If we think with our hearts
That is what will make us smart
With faith Columbus sailed his ship
The Wright Brothers took to the air
Martin Luther King spoke from the hip
Albert Einstein spoke of jealous fears
In order to do the impossible you must see the invisible
SO
Keep the faith, Keep the faith
Accept your dreams as reality
And keep the faith
Faith does not require proof
And the journey can be very hard
The proof is all inside of you
Just know that you’ve played the right cards
Just as you know the sun will rise
You know this to be true
If you fight on every day
Your dreams can all come true
In order to do the impossible you must see the invisible
SO
Keep the faith, Keep the faith
Accept your dreams as reality
Since man began to reflect on his existence, he has asked the age old question, “What is the meaning of life?” As the years continued, we further wanted to know our individual purpose and then, what was our passion. Philosophers have tackled these questions throughout the ages.
If you have ever wondered what is your purpose, and how do you find it and your passions, you are just like the rest of us. We have all come across that bridge at one time or another in the journey of our lives. Is there an answer to this age old question?
There is no direct route to that answer, or is there a timeline to discover the answer. The answer is different for all of us, and the timeline is as well. In addition, the answer is not fixed, it can change throughout your life. There are ways to help find your passions, but since there is no direct easy answer or timeline, there are other aspects to consider as well.
Do not put your life on hold waiting to discover your passion, it is something that you find not standing still waiting, but on the journey of life itself. You never know where you will bump into it, but it is out there for you to discover, but you have to be out there to discover it. Life is not traveled in a straight line, but rather in a zigzag of events, with one event leading you to the next. Take a step, and each step will lead you to the next.
There is a very important aspect to consider while you are waiting to discover your passion in life, that you have to fulfill your basic needs and be in the forward motion of building your life. This is important for four reasons,
One, that you need to have safety and security in life. Without the basics, you cannot focus on higher aspirations as life is preoccupied with making it through your current situation.
Two, when you do not have the basics covered, this can produce fear, it is hard to be open to your passions when fear is blocking your visions.
Three, when your basics are not covered, this produces frustration and anger. You are not open to seeing your passions in a state of anger and frustration.
Four, if you are not covering your basics, you are not happy. You discover passions from a state of happiness.
So, do not put your life on hold waiting to find your passions. Any decision is better than no decision. Do not fear making a mistake, every decision will lead to new discoveries. Keep forward and positive motion. It is also important to understand that in life, you do not always get to be aligned with your passions at every moment, that is okay. Live your life with an “Attitude of Gratitude” each day, and you will be surprised at what you discover.
When in a place where you are looking at your passions, ask yourself these questions:
What do I find myself thinking and talking about?
What keeps catching my eye?
What do I day dream about?
What gets me excited?
What would I do for free?
When does time disappear?
When do I discover myself being pulled in a direction?
What seems effortless no matter how hard?
When am I excited?
When do I discover myself smiling without realizing it?
Your passions are out there waiting for you to discover in time. Be patient, read, explore, experiment, play and try the unknown…
PFR Notes January 31, 2010
Well, after 31 days I haven’t had enough of you, so I hope you have not had enough of me!
Let me first say, I am proud of you all, honored to have worked with you, and appreciative of who you are…
a deep bow of gratitude…
In these 31 days you have resolved to be your personal best while working through the blocks that stop you. Now we want to take that power of choice and create commitments. Very exciting! 31 days was not enough time for me to get to all the areas I wanted to in order to guide you through the commitment process. I also want to find out what blocks come up that stand in the way of your commitments in order to move you past them and really in the direction of the life changes you want.
2010 is a year that with this training, you will be able to create all the changes you want going forward. So I hope you are really getting excited. You are being invited to participate in a rare moment, you about to get continual guidance to achieve your commitments. For the month of February I am committed to your commitments and training you to be a Rock Star! Opportunities like PFR and the interaction you have received and what we are about to do, rarely happen. This is your time to really get to that next level.
I will be hosting a Commitment Support Group where I will give you additional advice and videos on creating and achieving your commitments. I will also be asking for your feedback so we can improve the commitment section. This is going to be a fun fun fun and amazing experience. The group will be limited to 100.
For right now, tomorrow do the following:
- Pick a “want to” commitment for one week.
- Create One Commitment using the Commitment Tool
- Make the date range one week
- State Out Loud 3 times the commitment
- Sign your contract and State Out Loud
- Accountability Network optional for this commitment. If you use it, limit it to 3 people
- Commit to one action item
- Follow through with action, update commitment when complete
- Commit to next action item
- Keep repeating actions and updates till week is over
Now you are the way to creating and achieving commitments, congratulations!
Once again, you are amazing and I appreciate you.
I’ll see you in the Commitment Support Group
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